Tag: MI Divorce - page 2

Divorce Attorney Specializing In Men’s Well Being During and After Divorce

Did you know that women file for divorce twice as often as men?  Any man that has gone through a divorce will tell you that the experience and effects it has on them is devastating.  It is important to make good choices before getting married.  Take into account the following information to help decrease the chances of experiencing any of these devastating outcomes.

Forty percent of marriages end in divorce.  This is an unfortunate statistic.  It becomes expected that people marry and therefore often occurs in haste.  Getting married is all too simple.  Perhaps if this process was more difficult fewer marriages would end in divorce.  Take time to really get to know an individual before you choose to get married.  Perhaps take marriage classes to better prepare you for spending your lifetime learning to compromise.  Marriage is a journey of two people learning to combine their lives into one.  If either person is not committed to this there will eventually be discourse.

With divorce as common as it is blended families are the new norm.  Sixty eight percent of children between the ages of fourteen and eighteen live in a blended family.  This may be the number one reasons that teen delinquency is on the rise.  Children in blended families often feel the effects of their parents’ divorce and suffer from ever feeling whole again.  They often feel that when their parents remarry they become less important.  New love takes over a parent’s attention which can cause children to feel neglected.

When men divorce the hardest adjustment for them to make is the one with their children.  It is an adjustment when they no longer see their children on a daily basis.  For divorced dads it is important for them to focus on their children and becoming involved in their lives.  It is crucial that they seek a parenting arrangement that allows equal parenting time.  This will help secure the bond he has with his children.  The worst thing a divorced dad can do is to think that visiting his children every other weekend is acceptable.  Children will come to resent a father that sends a check each week but only chooses to be a part of his children’s lives on the weekend.

Another difficultly in divorce is splitting friends.  Couples are often made to choose sides when their friends divorce.  Many times women end up coming out on top with the friends they made as a couple.  This leaves newly divorced men seeking new connections or lonely.  If the man is fortunate he will have remained in touch with his guys friends pre-marriage and they will become more important as he reenters life as a single man.

The list of undesirable outcomes goes on and on for men devastated by divorce.  Divorce is never the end we look at when entering into marriage however as statics show it is become increasingly common.  Before you look into marriage it is crucial that you are aware of the devastation that can occur for a man if a divorce becomes inevitable.  Divorce attorneys are often quoted saying that more devastation occurs for a man when going through a divorce.  Women often seek out support where as men do not thus leaving them alone to navigate newly charted water.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Steps To Take Before Divorcing

Before a couple decides that their marriage is over and a divorce is inevitable it is advisable to seek out alternative options.  While not every marriage is salvageable it is best to be sure yours isn’t before taking the step to dissolve it permanently.  Divorce is a difficult process not only for you and your spouse but also for your children and extended family.  Strongly consider looking into some or all of the options below before calling it quits.  Divorce is the last step in marriage and considerably one that should be worked to avoid.

Seek out the advice of a divorce attorney even as you try to salvage your marriage as they can also help you to protect yourself in this volatile state.  A divorce attorney has critical advice to share as well as contacts within your local community to help you as you salvage your marriage and thereafter if divorce is the chosen option in the end.

Marriage counseling is the first step that is often recommended to couples who are struggling to keep their marriage intact.  Marriage counseling takes commitment and work from both partners to have any hope at success.  Counseling will help you identify problems in the marriage and work towards resolution.  Even if in the end you feel like a permanent separation in the form of divorce is needed you and your spouse should take away a good deal of information to help lead towards productive communication as issues come about in the divorce and custody process.

A trial separation may be a next step to consider as it will allow you and your spouse to work on your issues apart.  The hard part of a trial separation is when it comes to your children.  Try to work out a solution that allows you to separate but not uproot the children and their day to day routine and activities.  The space that comes with a trial separation is invaluable.  In order for this to be an effective manner in which you continue to work on your marriage you must work together.  Create a timeline so that both parties have specifics on how long the separation will last and what each of you desires upon reconciliation.

When moving forward with either of the above options or both of them it is important that you seek advice from an attorney specializing in divorce.  Seeking council should not be considered a step closer to the dissolution of your marriage but instead as a way to protect yourself if in fact a divorce is inevitable even after marriage counseling and/or a trial separation.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Focusing On The Positive Effects Of Divorce On Your Children

The effects your divorce has on your children don’t all have to be negative.  Some aspects of divorce can actually affect your children in a positive manner.  If your marriage is one of unhappiness and void of love and respect your children see this hurt every day.   So even though divorce will be difficult on your children positives may occur.  Your children’s reality is built around you both as parents.  This does not mean that it is the only way in which this can occur is under the same roof.

There will be issues that come and go with having parents under separate roofs but they are not any worse than those that can arise with two parents under one roof that are not working as a one.  There are several ways in which parenting together under different roofs leaves your children better off than the alternative.

Communication is the key to ensuring your kids are not afflicted by the negative effects divorce can have on them.  The dissolution of your marriage and those issues are between the two of you and have absolutely nothing to do with the children you created together.  Leave your children out of the discussion that surround finances, property division, custody agreements and such.  Let your kids be kids.  When you are with them communicate in an appropriate manner with your ex.  Be civil enough to communicate with one another with the details surrounding visits as well as the children’s day to day life.  You don’t have to agree but those are the details that should be left out when talking with your children or when they are in ear shot.

Your children should not be expected to change the lifestyle they are accustomed to because of your divorce.  This is something that is not always possible but working together should be probable.  Money spent on your children, for your children and such is just that, money spent on the children you chose to have together.   If your children are accustomed to having a cell phone for instance, this is not an expense that is normal to be included when deciding upon a reasonable monthly child support stipend.  Make arrangements with your ex to split the bill no matter whose name the bill is under.  These situations will arise time and time again with driver’s education, school field trips or outings with friends.  Be clear that the money that is spent for child’s support if used for the basic necessities such as food, clothing and shelter.  The extras should not be expected to be taken from this fund.

The effects of your divorce on your children will depend on the two of you.  Good communication does not mean that you agree on each and every decision what is does mean is that the effects of your divorce on your children will be more positive then negative.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Overcoming The Challenges Summer Brings To Divorced Parents

Summer vacation is a difficult time for many working parents.  It is stressful to consider what your children will be doing day in and day out throughout the summer while you are working.  Will they be at summer camp?  How will you afford that extra expense or that of child care?  The challenges faced double when it comes to couples that are divorced and sharing time and expenses.  Below are some of the most common mistakes when it comes to summertime with divorced parents.

Summertime is not the time to have a vague parenting plan or a non-existing one.  A detailed parenting plan is necessary in the summer to make for hassle free planning.  It can also help to avoid the monetary issues related summer plans and your children.  Before summer begins have a detailed written plan that states exactly what weeks the children will be with each parent as well as who is to pay for camps, childcare and other extra activities that come about during the summer.  This will help circumvent issues before they arise.

As a result of the divorce there are fewer finances available for summertime fun.  With this in mind it is important to remember that not everything your children did during the summer prior to the divorce is going to be financially able to be done now.  Money is divided differently and therefore activities that are done are different as well.  This is also the case if one parent stayed home with the children during the summer before you were divorced.  This luxury is most likely not available to parents that are newly divorced and childcare will need to be planned and budgeted for.   It is important to remember that fun times and memories of childhood summers don’t come from money spent rather time spent.

With divorce comes conflict between parents and differences of opinions.  This happens a lot with divorce, parental styles tend to change and summer time makes this more evident than ever before.  When parents are not on the same wave length when it comes to parenting the children can often feel the stress.  Don’t allow yourself to be succumbed to arguing over each and every detail that summer brings.

To avoid chaos over summer vacation it is important that you meet with your divorce attorney to ensure that your parenting plan is detailed and realistic.  If nothing is in place addressing summer directly it is important to have a meeting of the minds.  If there are drastic differences you may want to meet with your divorce attorneys and a mediator to establish a plan, a routine and a financial order to cover the bases of summer.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Planning For Summer As A Divorced Parent

Summer is a tricky time for divorced parents.  Below you will find some hands on tips to create a summer with less stress and minimal conflict.

A key element to summer is structure.  Parents who are separated or divorced must have a plan in place that helps to define how their children time will be spent throughout the summer months.  If planning your children’s summer out together is too much for the two of you to handle alone meet with your divorce attorney’s present with a mediator to establish clearly the division of time.  This way each parent can structure their children’s summers as they see fit when they are in their custody.  If one parent is pro summer camp then set up an arrangement where they attend camp while with that parent and they also assume the cost.

Expenses throughout the summer need to be planned out carefully.  Childcare is large expense that may not have been a part of the equation in past summers.  Again, the cost of childcare is something that needs to be specifically addressed.  Clarity with these situations will help prevent surprises.  This process can be seamless with the help of your divorce attorney and a mediator.

Summer can often be a time of last minute changes.  This may not work well if you are not able to communicate with your ex-spouse.  To avoid any unnecessary conflicts for your children don’t assume that your last minute plans and changes will not be met with resistance.  When these occasions occur put yourself in their shoes.   The changes you are making may interfere with plans that they have set in stone.  Follow the written plan that is in place.  If you need to make changes or are asking for your ex to adjust time request the change in writing with as much advanced warning as possible.  Don’t put your children in the middle if your spouse declines and chooses to remain true to the schedule set in place.

Try to put all other personal conflicts aside when working out a parenting plan for the summer.  Detach yourself from other conflicts and divide them into smaller more manageable pieces.  Don’t let your feelings towards one another affect summertime fun.  Never try to outdo each other.  Your goal as parents throughout the summer should be clearly defined, financially reasonable and simple to accomplish.  It is only three months; a plan should be established and followed by both parents.

Don’t involve your children in summertime conflicts.  Make sure that summer is kept carefree and filled with memories.  Memories don’t cost money.   Make sure you understand even the simplest day trip can make a long lasting impression upon your child.  After a divorce it is especially important to understand that your children want your time and attention not fancy vacations and non-stop summer camps.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Financial Matters and Your Divorce

As a man it is important to protect yourself in divorce, especially in financial matters.  Below are a variety of items to have in order for discussions with your divorce attorney regarding your financial status.

Documents

Gather your financial documents.  You should take time to pull of your financial documentation together and move it to a safe location.  Make copies for your attorney to review as well.  Understand that your wife will be trying to gather the same documentation and will be going through every document she can to help gather information on your finances as well.

Bank Accounts

Collect the information together regarding bank accounts that are not only in your name but in your spouse’s name and children as well.  Don’t do anything rash with the money in your accounts before you speak with your divorce attorney.  If you have several joint accounts it is important that you discuss dividing the accounts between the two of you before your divorce is finalized.  No matter what you do don’t deplete the finances that support your family.  This will not look favorable when a judge is reviewing your case.

Credit Cards

Any joint credit cards should be closed to ensure that your spouse doesn’t go on a spending spree that leaves you responsible for half.  Close joint credit cards and notify the credit card companies that you are no longer responsible for credit cards held in your spouse’s name.

If you need credit cards it is crucial that you open new accounts with only your name on them.  These new accounts should not be linked to your old accounts or spouse in any way.

Insurance

If you are the spouse with insurance it is not appropriate to drop your spouse or your children until you have met with your divorce attorney and a judgment has been put into place by a judge.  You are the responsible party for all medical bills until your divorce is finalized and even after sometimes you may decide to keep your children and ex covered.  If you are still going to be held liable for medical expenses in your child support and alimony agreements you may decide to continue coverage.

Inventory

Take inventory of the valuables within your household.  If something within the house is of great sentimental value and you are moving out before the divorce is finalized speak with your divorce attorney about removing it.  You will want to ensure that anything of value or sentimental value is documented in the eyes of the court before selling, splitting or removing them from the house.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Women To Women Advice On Your Divorce

Wouldn’t life be wonderful if we could give ourselves advice on experiences before we experienced them?  Divorce is a hindsight 20/20 situation.  Divorce is one of those situations where we need advice before we go through it but often don’t know where to turn.  Other women who have gone though divorce come in to play to help us.  Below are the top ten pieces of advice women give each other when moving through the divorce process.

It can take some time to recover

Just because the divorce process has started or finalized does not mean that there is an automatic switch that will allow you to recover.  Recovering from a divorce is difficult.  You won’t necessarily be able to bounce back and go about your life as it was.  Take time to recover.  You need time to process and heal.  You may feel like you can barely function and that too is okay.  Be ready however because there will come a time when you will be ready to move on and to let yourself heal.

Choose an attorney specializing in divorce

When looking for council don’t settle on an attorney; it is important that you find an attorney that specializes in family law and divorce.  A lawyer that specializes in something other than divorce and family law will not get you the results you want out of your divorce.  A divorce attorney understands all the ins and outs of local law and state nuances.

Analyze your finances

Get as much information as you can about the family finances.  You not only have to have a handle on your own finances but also a grip on all of the accounts within the household.  You should know what payments are coming out automatically, where funds are invested, what bills need to be paid and more.  If possible gather online usernames and passwords so that you are able to look up information as needed.

Consider the future of your living expenses

If you are going to be living on your own it is important that consider the money that you have coming in to decide what you can afford to have outgoing every month.  If you don’t know exactly what you will need you won’t know what to ask for and then may end up sacrificing your own financial needs.

Stop thinking of divorce as failure

Don’t beat yourself up.  Divorce is not about failing or being rejected all it means is that your relationship did not work out.  The sooner you understand that you are not at fault the sooner you will be able to get on with moving on with your life.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Tips On Finding A Divorce Attorney

If you are sure your marriage is at the end of the line, beyond repair is better to have a consult with a family law, divorce attorney.  In order to make it through one of the most difficult processes of your life you must make sure you have as much information as possible.  You need an attorney that fits comfortably with your end goals; this will require trust and good communication between the two of you.  Over the next few months the two of you will work closely together; leaving you divulging important personal and financial information to someone who months ago was a perfect stranger.

Here are some tips to consider when shopping around for a divorce attorney:

Don’t Tell Your Spouse

Until you are fully aware of all of your rights and responsibilities it is best to keep your hunt for a divorce attorney on the down low from your significant other.  If your spouse finds out that you are looking for an attorney they may stop contributing to the household, remove joint funds out of the bank and stop paying bills.  It is best to find out where you stand legally before you notify your spouse that you have found an attorney specializing in divorce and family law.

Your Family Matters

Choose an attorney that specializes in family law.  As a mother you know the sole focus throughout the divorce needs to be your children and their needs.  A family law attorney should be able to put you in contact with experts in counseling children as well as experts in your personal wellbeing.

Ask Around For Referrals

If you have friends that are recently divorced ask about any attorney recommendations.  Your lawyer’s strengths should match your needs.  Don’t solely go based off of a favorable settlement achieved by the lawyer.  None of that will mean that they will be supportive as you proceed through the divorce process.  Even with a stellar recommendation from a friend or family you need to make sure the referral meets your needs.

Consider the Fees & Charges

Most divorce attorneys charge between three to five hundred dollars an hour.  Determine what the attorney’s retainer fee is and see what you realistically can afford.  Going into debt hiring a divorce attorney is not going to help your end game.  Find an attorney that you can afford that also fits the criteria you have in place with your wants and needs in the end.

Have a Thorough Consultation

During your consultation it is crucial that your attorney gets as much information as possible from you.  Often divorce attorneys offer a free; during this consultation the attorney will want to find out about your children, your income and your assets.  With your objectives and the information you provide the attorney will talk with you about what is realistic, what you should expect going further and what you can do to better your chances to achieve your goals.  This is a good time to get a feel for how your attorney will listen to you and communicate with you in the future.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Choosing The Right Divorce Lawyer

It is hard to know where to turn when you start going through a divorce. This is partially because few of us have had experience with the legal ins and outs.  Don’t waste time trying to find a lawyer to handle your divorce.  Follow the steps below when looking for a divorce attorney specializing in family law.

Be Realistic

Going through a divorce is an emotional journey.  This will be hard but you must be realistic when proceeding with your divorce.  The sole reason you are going through the legal process of divorce is to dissolve the assets you have built up together and to determine the best path for normalcy in your children’s lives. The job of your divorce attorney is not to sit and sympathize with you; they are there to listen but their most important role is to provide you will the best possible outcome for after your divorce.

Stay Focused

This will be harder than it sounds.  The ultimate goal is to stay focused on the end result.  Don’t get caught up in your hatred for ex.  Don’t get too sentimental over the little things when negotiating marital assets; those are just things and can be replaced.  Keep focused on your divorce, getting through the process quickly, ending up with as little financial damage and having your family unit together as much as possible.

Understand The Goal

Know what you want out of your divorce.  Are you looking for a battle where you get each and everything possible from the other person?  Do you want to get through the process with as little ill effect on yourself and your children?  Mediation, with or without the help of a divorce lawyer can often be less expensive than a full blown battle in front of a judge.  Depending on your end goal will determine what type of divorce you will have.

Interview & Research Divorce Attorney’s

Don’t necessarily hire the first attorney you meet.  It is best to meet and interview with at least three different divorce attorneys specializing in family law.  Consider each attorneys retainer fee as well as their hourly rate.  Most attorneys will not negotiate their fees.  Ask for referrals and during your consult be sure to find an attorney that is listening to you and offering you an outcome that you can agree with.

Make A Choice

Now is time to make a decision on an attorney to hire.  Take into consideration the tips above; be realistic, stay focused, know your end goal and find an attorney to represent you that remains in line with your own personal criteria.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Tips To Help Find A Divorce Attorney To Represent You

There is so much more to choosing a divorce attorney then flipping through the yellow pages.  It doesn’t make sense to choose the same attorney that represented you when leasing your first home to also handle your divorce.  Attorney’s all have specialties and it is important to find one that will understand the ins and outs of representing you in your divorce.  Family law attorneys specialize in all things dealing with divorce.  They will represent you not only in your divorce but child custody and support, alimony issues, personal protection orders and restraining orders.  You need an attorney that specializes in the issue at hand, your divorce.

Not only is it important to hire a divorce attorney that specializes in divorce you need to find one that you can comfortably speak with.  Only hire an attorney that you trust and can confide in.  You will need to share with them a lot of information about your marriage including some very private information about yourself and your life together with your partner.

Another important aspect of finding qualified divorce attorney to take on your case is to find an attorney that can speak to you in plain English.  Don’t hire someone that only knows how to speak legalese and can’t relate details of your divorce to you in a manner that you can understand.   You will want to understand the details and exactly what is occurring in your divorce throughout the entire proceedings.

It is crucial that if you have children that your divorce attorney that helps to remind you that they need to come first in every decision that is made in the divorce.  Find an attorney that will help you pursue reasonable demands when it comes to your child custody agreement.  You may be very angry and hurt but you and your attorney should be on the same page when it comes to determining what is best for your children first before the needs of you and your spouse.

The family law, divorce attorney that you choose should be affordable as well.  There is no need to go into deep debt while you are beginning a new life for yourself and your family unit. Expert divorce attorneys who are also affordable are out there to take on your divorce.

Start your search online locating attorneys specializing in divorce and practice law in your area.  This is a perfect time to check them out without the commitment of an afternoon consultation.  Once you have narrowed down a few attorneys that you think fit into what you are looking for call their offices and schedule a time to meet with them to discuss your case in particular.  This short meeting is where you will accumulate the information needed to determine which attorney you feel will represent you and your best interest in your divorce.

Choosing an attorney to represent you in your divorce will not be simple but taking time to find someone qualified, that has your best interests in mind, will pay off for you in the end.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.