Is there such thing as a healthy divorce?  Does working with one attorney over another make a difference in the health of your relationships once your divorce is finalized?  Believe it or not the attorney you choose to help you throughout your divorce really does change the outcome of your relationships with your ex and your children.  Divorce is difficult.  It is a time that catches you at anything but your best; that is one of the main reasons you need to find an attorney to compliment your end goals and desires.  A divorce attorney that understands this will help make the process and end result easier to handle.

The first thing to understand is that your divorce is not a battle.  Take the right approach from the start.  Find a family law attorney that has this same mindset.  Find an attorney that also doesn’t believe that divorce must be a combat situation.  If you or your attorney go into the process concerned only with winning your divorce turns into a situation that is hurtful, angry and heated.  This is especially harmful if children are involved.  It is important that you work together with your ex.  This will lead to a relationship after divorce that is cohesive and benefits the emotional well being of both you and your children.

There will be many things that will need to be divided up within your divorce.  Consider joint assets for what they are and nothing more.  Yes, the blanket that covered your couch may be super comfy but is it really worth fighting for?  If your ex is really attached to a piece don’t fight them for it.  It is more important that the division of assets is fair.  If you choose to be cooperative throughout the process you will find this may entice your ex to do the same.  Who cares if in the end you need to buy new dishes or sheets?

It may be difficult to begin talking with your spouse about dividing your joint assets. One way to help ease this conversation is by starting out with a written list.  Divide the joint assets up into three categories: things you really want, things you would like and things that don’t really matter.  Compare the list you have created with the list your ex has come up with.  What this accomplishes is a starting point.  You may compare lists and realize that the things you both value are completely different and therefore easier to split.  It also allows for a bit of negotiation as you may choose to give up some of those things that you would like in favor of more important pieces that you really want.  You will find this true of your ex as well.  Your divorce attorneys can set up a time for mediation where this can be discussed in a non-hostile manner.

It is important that you seek legal advice from an attorney that also believes in ending your marriage in a healthy manner.  Having an attorney that helps you remain level headed throughout the divorce process will only help to facilitate a healthy end to your marriage and start to your new life.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at