Accepting life after your divorce is hard on everyone involved. Even under the best of conditions men have a difficult time adjusting to single life after being married. Make it easier on yourself, your ex and your children by avoiding these common mistakes that are most often made following a divorce.
Dating Too Soon: To many men think that jumping back into the dating game right away is a sure way to get over their ex and begin moving on with their lives. This is far from reality. In fact dating before the dust settles on your divorce can hinder your new relationship as well as the relationship you share with your children and ex.
Just because you are feeling alone, exposed and distressed doesn’t mean you should seek out a female companion to fill the void. Instead begin to date casually. Don’t take on a relationship until you have figured out life as a newly divorced man. This can take up to two years to officially happen. Slow down your dating game and explain to anyone you are interested in dating that you have been through a tough divorce and are not ready for a committed relationship. Recognize that the time is not right for a relationship that constrains you in anyway.
Isolating Themselves: After a divorce it is easy for men to become cut off from the rest of the world. This is especially true when a woman gets full custody of their children. This alone can worsen any feelings of guilt, depression and lonesomeness that is felt. In fact divorced men are more likely to experience suicide and alcoholism.
Instead of turning to drinking and thoughts of hurting yourself turn to old friends or family members. Join a health club, join a softball team or join a professional association through work. All of these activities will help you avoid the feeling of despair that can be felt by men experiencing divorce.
Giving In To Hostility: Another common mistake that men give into is the hostility they are feeling towards their ex. Don’t continue to fight with your ex especially when children are involved. Don’t be the enemy. When you are co-parenting it is easy to be at odds with your ex. You may not always get your way on how to parent your children. Learn to take this all in stride. Take time to manage your feelings; there needs to be a middle ground when situations arise that you go to in order to seek a mutual resolution.
Don’t yield too much of yourself or your role as a parent to your ex. If you are willing to put in the work you will see the results in the relationship you share with your children and ex.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.