When going through a divorce it is hard not to feel powerless and out of your element.  The territory of divorce is usually one that is undiscovered for most couples.  When a divorce has been decided upon it becomes imperative that you understand your rights when it comes to everything from spousal support to child custody to the division of marital assets. Many people will give you advice to follow from filing for divorce to when the divorce is final.  This advice may apply to you or not.  As quick as advice comes in it can often be discarded.  What applies to you will stick.  Below you will find a list of survival tips.  Again, most of this may not apply to your situation but it is important that you hear it and apply what is needed.

Divorce is often fought like a war.  War as we have come to know it is a long, drawn out battle between two different sides.  Conflict arises from two parties and often spreads like wild fire.  When it comes to divorce families take sides and issues come about that were long forgiven while the marriage was intact.  If at all possible try to dissolve your marriage as privately as possible. Keep the information between the two of you as much as possible.  This will alleviate a lot of stress and will keep the possibilities open for an amicable divorce through mediation.  Mediation tends to save both sides time and money by providing a joint agreement without litigation in court.

Before you actually file or think you are going to be served with papers start preparing yourself financially as well as finding a trustworthy source of legal aide. Start meeting with several lawyers to determine whose advice, results and tactics are in line with how you are feeling you would like your divorce proceeding to move forward. This will save you time when you are feeling the most fragile and allow you to be one step ahead alleviating a stressful situation from elevating to a place of no return.

Don’t allow yourself to fall into a trap. Some spouses try to convince you will end up without the means to support yourself let alone keep your children.  Believing this will only allow them to be in a power position over you and your emotions.  Don’t give into this time of emotional abuse.  Through mediation or litigation the house, custody, child and spousal support and assets will be divided.  Your spouse is not in control of this process.  You both will decide, along with the support of your divorce attorney and legal team through mediation or litigation how your joint lives will be separated into two.

The thing about divorce that makes giving concrete advice difficult is that no two divorces like any two marriages.  Marriage and divorce are made of a complex combination of pieces that don’t always apply to every situation.  Weeding through the advice that applies to you will create an individualized guide to help you move forward in any given situation including your divorce.  Take the advice that applies and apply it; disregard anything and everything that doesn’t apply as not to create any resentment that isn’t needed.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorceattorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com/afterdivorce.php.