For most women and men the divorce process is an unpleasant one.  Unfortunately divorce tends to play out in a very dreadful manner that leaves both parties at a loss and filled with heartache and sorrow. It also leaves both parties filled with wonderful opportunities that take time to fully discover.  For most people who end up going through a divorce the reason for the divorce is simple; they were simply incompatible and were not destined to continue with their marriage.  Many divorcees are decent people ready to move on to the next phase in their lives.  The question is how this can be accomplished while allowing the healing process to continue and providing protection to a fragile heart.

First things first don’t think that because many of your friends who have gone through a divorce and are now friends with their exes that this can easily be accomplished in your situation.  Give yourself time. You don’t need to be friends right now.  You need to conduct your relationship as you would a business for right now. You should set boundaries and rules that will allow you to continue to parent your children but that allow you to grow as individuals. If as time goes by a friendship occurs that is fine but don’t assume it needs to happen.

When it comes to preparing you for the actual legal separation find a solid divorce lawyer that has a reputation for settling through the meditation process.  Heading into a divorce considering it a war that will only be won through a deceitful, long battle is not the best option especially when children are involved. Finding a lawyer that works a well in mediation but that also has a winning record when faced with litigation is optimal.  Mediation is especially beneficial to both parties when a working relationship has been proven and similar goals are desired.  Couples that end their marriage through the mediation process often salvage a better working relationship once the divorce is finalized.

Parenting through a divorce is difficult especially in situations where parenting was a major issue of contentment in the marriage.  It is so important to remember that the only thing that matters is your children when dissolving your marriage.  Most parenting plans that work out the best are written in a format that lets the children know the plan is being written for them directly to them.  When developing a plan consider that one day this piece of paper could be shared with them.  You need to work as a team on their behalf to create a parenting plan that moves everyone in the forward direction working as one.

When it comes to parenting, the divorce and many matters that will come up in between filing and finalization it is vital that the two parties learn to agree to disagree.  You are getting a divorce for a specific reason.  There have been obvious disagreements; these may stem from finances, parenting, family issues or something else.  The reason is not important once you have decided to no longer be married to one another.  The issue still remains that you disagree.  Coming to terms with this and learning to let go and agree to disagree will help you move forward in the long run.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at