There is a light at the end of the tunnel for both men and women when going through a divorce.  It becomes a reality that life with go on even without the person you have loved for so long in your life.  Navigating through divorce and on to life after divorce is something that comes with the territory.  One major piece of the puzzle that leaves many in turmoil after their divorce is dating.

Dating after being married to someone for a period of time can prove to be tricky.  Being that you have been out of the dating scene for a while it is understandable if those skills have faded into oblivion.  Face it, it has been ages since the last time you went out on a date.  A decade has past where you have not had to put yourself out there. You will be a bit rusty but you can get back in the dating game with a little help.

First thing first, avoid club hopping at all costs.  The men that are at the clubs aren’t looking for anything long term.  You set yourself up for instant failure in the dating department when you end up at a night club.  What you will find is a one night cheap thrill which is probably the last thing you want.  Don’t cheapen yourself when jumping back into the dating world.  You will only find what you desire by putting your true self out there.  Clubs are an alcohol filled, hormone engulfed environments that can lead you straight into another disaster.

Group dates tend to ease tension and provide a great environment in which to meet new people.  It is easier to be yourself and to put your true self out there when you are with people who you already know and whom make you comfortable.  Being introduced to men through friends is a great way to find someone that is like minded.  Think about the reality of this; friends of friends already have something in common with you.  If they are friends with your friends there is an increased likelihood that you are bound to have some things in common.

Another method that is good for women getting back into the dating scene after a divorce is online dating. Avoid free dating sites as these are the ones that have proven to have a fair amount of scammers. Set up an online profile and start slowly.  There is nothing that says that you have to meet face to face.  Try emailing and talking online for a few months.  When you are ready set up a plan to meet one another.  Online dating can be a stress free way to start talking with people and learning how to put yourself out there.

If you aren’t up for a traditional dating after your divorce don’t feel pressure to do so.  Nothing is wrong with being independent and seeking to be comfortable in your own skin.  Put yourself out there and start making friends.  Volunteer, start participating in the community or team sport activities; anything to just get you back out into society.  When couples get married they tend to forget they are still individuals.  Simply put, start dating yourself before worrying about someone else.  Put yourself first and trust me the rest will follow in time.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at