The first question many of fathers ask upon meeting with a divorce attorney is; how can I win my child custody battle?  When fathers in divorce ask this question it may not be all about winning however about getting the best results for themselves and their children.  It may be about joint custody, sometimes it is about ensuring that they still have a say in parenting decisions and reasons that vary depending upon the situation at hand.

As a divorce attorney it is our job to look at the entire situation and make sure that the children’s best interests are met throughout the divorce process including in child custody arrangements.  Most fathers end up seeking joint custody and shared parenting.  In most divorce cases when one parent is awarded sole custody the children’s best interest is not being met. We do our best to represent fathers throughout the process of divorce.  Here are some mistakes to avoid making when going through a separation, divorce and child custody situation.

The first mistake many father make is leaving the marital home before they have consulted with an attorney.  Don’t feel pressured to move out of your home and leave your children behind.  When you are separated from your home and children you are hurting your case and your children.  It is important to seek council to develop a parenting plan of action to decide the next step in the process.

Another mistake that fathers often make is not spending enough time with their children.  It is important for all parties involved to stay active in their lives.  Still attend softball games and take them to soccer practice.  Take them to the park, go swimming and play games with them no matter what part of the divorce process you are involved in.  It is important to maintain their lives and routine.  If you have your children during the school week sit and take time to help with homework and touch base with their teachers.  Your children will excel if you remain an important part of their daily routine.  If you aren’t able to physically be with them stay in touch via facetime, skype or frequent phone calls. All of this will benefit your custody goals as well as your relations ship with your children.

When it comes time to dealing with your ex widen your view point.  It is time to treat her like a business partner, bringing too much emotion when it comes to child custody is not helpful.  You want to maximize your case and results and this will take some control of emotion.  Don’t get livid or malicious, maintain yourself.  Your composure will be helpful when it comes time to deliberate child custody and support agreements.

Divorce is never easy especially when children are involved.  It becomes personal no matter how hard you try to prevent that from happening.  Prevent over sharing with you children, they should never be burdened with your feelings towards their mother.  Your stress should not be theirs.  Make sure you are receiving adequate support and that you are able to discuss your feelings with someone that can assist you in making sense of them and moving forward.