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Divorce Done Amicably

When you enter into marriage the assumption is that you will stay married until death do you part.  No one goes in thinking about the day there marriage will end in divorce however it happens more often than not now a day.  If a divorce is eminent in your relationship and you are wondering how you can stay on good terms with your ex read on.  Amicable divorces are important especially when children are involved and also when it comes to mutual friends and with the division of assets and liabilities.

The first thing to remember when trying to achieve an amicable divorce is that your children should never be put in the middle of anything.  They are the most important thing that you and your spouse have in common.  They will always be something that you created and share together.  Your children will be affected by your divorce enough as is don’t add to it by making them a part of any decisions that need to be made.  Sit down and discuss a custody arrangement that works to meet both of your needs as parents remembering that your children will thrive in a situation where both parents stay equally involved in their lives.  Consistency is the key when it comes to arranging a working situation and plentiful relationship with your children.  A situation that is feasible for both partners will benefit your children.

When going through a divorce consider dividing the assets rationally and as peacefully as possible.  When you actually sit to discuss what each of you wants and don’t want you may be surprised to find that this is an easier process than you ever thought.  Your spouse may have agreed to a dog to make you and the kids happy but has no interest in keeping the pet you love so dearly.  The same can be said for tangible household items and cars.  Your spouse may have bought certain items to make you happy and therefore there is not any attachment to the object therefore making it easy to surrender.  Of course there will be items you both hold dear; think about the division of these assets in consideration with the larger picture.  This process will be a lot of give and take.  The same process can be achieved with liabilities as well.

Even if you know that the divorce is going to happen counseling can still help especially when it comes to splitting on good terms.  A counselor offers a safe environment to speak from the heart and talk about your shared experiences from your prospective.  This process can help you understand where your spouse is coming from and vise versa.

If you are planning on staying friendly with one another it is important that you hold your tongue; this is especially important in front of family and friends.  Nothing good ever comes from speaking ill of your spouse so it is best to just keep those thoughts to yourself.  When you are choosing to stay in contact and on peaceful terms with your spouse speaking negatively will not help nurture the relationship you are hoping for.  When it comes to your children really keep your negative feelings and thoughts to yourself.  When you and your ex disagree on situations regarding the children it is best to talk about those issues in private.  Your children, family and friends should not be privy to this information; issues should be kept private and dealt with in a civil manner between you and your ex only.  This will keep your divorce and relationship more peaceful overtime.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Divorce Attorney Litigate Towards Quicker Michigan Divorces

When your marriage is done and over all you are looking forward to is getting the divorce finalized however when you have a spouse who is dragging their feet it is often easier said than done.  Many women that have met with their divorce attorney want to know how they can get their divorce finalized quickly.  Waiting around for it to be over and done is mentally exhausting, time consuming and financially draining.  Below you will find tips to help you through the divorce process if you find your ex-partner to be dragging their feet.

The first piece of advice is to just get it done and over.  Do everything within your power to speed the process up on your end.  Until the divorce is over you will not be able to get on with your own life and moving on. When it comes your turn to process paperwork, meet with your lawyer or be somewhere when you need to be; do it straight away and without delay.  The quicker you get your end of the divorce taken care the faster it will spur the process along hopefully giving your ex the push they need to speed up their end.  When divorce drags on it drains you financially, hurts your children and keeps you from moving forward.

Be clear with your ex that this is it and it is over.  Every relationship has a deal breaker.  If you have reached your deal breaker and the end it here be clear.  State in direct terms what the deal breaker was and how it was broken.  This should clearly state why the divorce is happening.  This faces the divorce and the marital deal breaker head on.  There are no questions and therefore there is no ground to stand on for a possible reconciliation.  This should lead you to a hassle free divorce.

People become greedy when it comes to divorce.  If you are looking for a speedy divorce the last thing that can happen is greed.  You need to divide the marital aspects without dragging on about who gets the sofa and who gets the chair.  I know it is easy to want to get the most out of your marriage as far as possessions.  This is seen as a way to get back at your ex for the hurt and betrayal but in the end moving on is what is important in divorce not who was awarded an extra dresser.

When the end finally comes be ready to set your-self free until then hold off on getting involved in another serious relationship.  Ending one relationship is tricky and time consuming enough but involving another individual in that process can often take it to the next level of confusion and delay.   Take care of your-self, learn to parent on your own and move on living your life.  Try to adjust yourself to your new single lifestyle including your financial situation.  Don’t rely on income from an ex in the form of child-support or alimony.

In ending your marriage in a speedy fashion the above advice and from your divorce attorney should help you maneuver through the process of divorce without too many delays and hiccups.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Getting Set Financially After Divorce

When it comes to divorce the reality is that it does not matter who filed it will be an incredibly difficult time in your life.  It is important that, as a woman, that you get yourself set financially.  If you file, if he files it is all the same, you need to get yourself in a position that you will be able to support yourself and your children with or without the help of your ex.  When it comes to the dos and don’ts of finances in divorce there are a few tips to take into consideration either before you file for divorce or right away after he has filed.

First things first, head to the bank and separate all of your joint bank accounts.  When separating accounts it is best to start fresh at a new bank for your personal accounts.  This is important as it protects you and keeps your accounts protected.  When separating be careful as greed often sets in along with the urge to wipe out all financial assets.  This is easily avoided by creating your own personal account.  Even in the most amicable of divorces financial issues arise.  Do not assume because you are getting along for the moment and acting like mature adults that your divorce will continue down the same path.

The next financial aspect that needs to be looked after is joint credit cards.  It is important to call creditors where joint accounts exist and explain that you are going through the divorce process.  You will want to cancel all joint accounts while opening one in your own name.  Don’t wait on this.  As your mate is beginning a new life it may seem reasonable to them to charge their expenses during the divorce.  If this occurs you are on the hook for at least half of this joint debt.

It is a good idea to start keeping track of any and all money that is being spent in a financial journal.  If you have kept track in writing and have a good solid record of receipts it gives you credit when explaining your living expenses during the divorce. This gives your attorney the edge when discussing how joint money has been spent throughout the process and helps to make sure remaining funds are divided fairly.

When you are certain a separation and divorce is inevitable start writing down a list of questions you need addressed.  As it is when you go to visit the doctor, your brain goes stale when it comes time to get answers to the thousands of questions you have.  Keeping track along the way will help ensure everything is covered and addressed with your divorce attorney.

When looking to find a divorce attorney that specializes in women’s needs in divorce it is important that you look at their record in court and mediation. As with any professional services that are sought feel free to ask for referrals.  Attorney consultations are often free.  Meet with several attorneys that specialize in women going through the divorce and get a feel for how each will represent your needs throughout the divorce.  You will be working one on one with this person to achieve a post divorce life so be sure you are comfortable discussing everything with this person.  Unfortunately, your entire life is on display when going through a divorce.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.




Trusting Your Instincts In Divorce

When women begin to consider divorce or start the process of filing for divorce they begin to receive lots of unwanted advice. The same thing happens to women throughout life I suppose. Consider when you first announced you were getting married, having a baby, quitting your job to stay home with your children; you name it when it involves your family and personal decisions you need to make everyone has an opinion. That is just one of the funny parts of life.

The best advice is advice not given. When it comes to your divorce, just like your marriage, it will be unique to you and so will your experiences as you proceed. There are some tips that may or may not apply to your situation. It is best to decide for yourself your next move. Do research on your own about divorce. This will help lead you into a position that allows you to think for yourself without being swayed by the tips or opinions of bitter divorcees.

When divorce is initially considered or thought of it is a good idea to meet with an attorney that specializes in women’s divorces. Find an attorney that comes with a solid reputation for defending women’s rights in divorce as well as child custody and support. Most often the initial consultation with the attorney is free even if this is not the case one hour of time with an attorney will allow you to get a good feel for their practice as well as their reputation. You will want to be comfortable with this person as you will be sharing incredibly intimate details of your marriage with them.

During this first initial meeting with a divorce attorney you should get a basic understanding on the divorce laws of your state. Each state is different when it comes to divorce laws. It is crucial to understand the laws of your state and how they apply to your situation. During this meeting you will also want to get information about attorney fees, mediation and different parenting agreements that are applicable to your situation.

Some divorces are fairly amicable and can be settled through mediation. Your divorce attorney should accompany you to any meetings set by the mediator. This is important to help protect you and your rights. Even when divorce is amicable doesn’t mean that your ex-husbands attorney will play fairly. Never sign or agree to anything involving your divorce without the advice of your divorce council present.

Before you leave the residence you share with your spouse check with your attorney. This is a decision that should not be made in haste. There are real implications when it comes to leaving the marital home during a divorce. If you find you are concerned for your safety or the safety of your children you should seek out a personal protection order, otherwise known as a PPO, or restraining order while things are settled with your divorce.

In the next installment on divorce we will look into more tips and strategies for you to investigate as you move through the divorce process. Remember one size does not fit all when you are considering a divorce and your divorce proceedings are meant to fit you.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information athttp://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com

Handling Your Divorce In Your Own Way

In our first installment regarding tips for your divorce we talked about the importance of looking out for yourself and not taking advice from other divorcees as it may not fit your divorce. We discussed looking as your divorce as its own separate entity as it is unique to you, your marriage and your situation.

A lot of times you will hear people that claim their divorce was completely amicable and they were able to settle without issue through mediation. While this sounds like a wonderful fantasy of what divorce can be it is the most likely a just that, a fantasy. No matter how cooperative you and your spouse are with each other there are bound to be phases throughout the divorce that you don’t see eye to eye. This is especially true when it comes to children and issues relating to parenting time and child support.

This is not to say that you can’t find peace in divorce and throughout yours however know that it is okay if your divorce doesn’t have a fairy tale ending. Your marriage wasn’t a fairy tale so why it is assumed that the divorce should be one is a mystery. Whenever you have third parties involved your divorce becomes trickier. This third party can be an attorney, a new love interest, children or family. When you start involving more people, more opinions come into play and with this come more aggravations. You will never be able to please everyone and in your divorce the only person you need to be concerned with pleasing is yourself while providing a best interest for your child.

When it comes to filing for divorce or being served with divorce papers one thing is true; you will never be as prepared as you will want to be. Once the situation has begun it is important to prepare yourself. Get together a list of important names and numbers that you may need in the future. You will want to also start putting together a list that includes handyman service providers, mechanics, tax preparers as well as any service you were not familiar with in your as wife and mother.

Consider finding something new outside of your divorce to learn and throw yourself into. You will find that you have spare time on your hand. The last thing that is healthy for you or for your family is to sit around and think too much. Be proactive, find something new to do. It can be something as simple as learning how to do small repairs on your car or home. Try anything to occupy your mind and gain knowledge that you didn’t previously have. Start learning about budgeting and retirement as this something you will have to reevaluate now that you may be doing this on your own.

Did your heart skip a beat when you thought about that last statement? Only let that happen this once. Strap on your big girl shoes and get on living your new life and letting go of your old life as you proceed through your divorce.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information athttp://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.