In our first installment regarding tips for your divorce we talked about the importance of looking out for yourself and not taking advice from other divorcees as it may not fit your divorce. We discussed looking as your divorce as its own separate entity as it is unique to you, your marriage and your situation.
A lot of times you will hear people that claim their divorce was completely amicable and they were able to settle without issue through mediation. While this sounds like a wonderful fantasy of what divorce can be it is the most likely a just that, a fantasy. No matter how cooperative you and your spouse are with each other there are bound to be phases throughout the divorce that you don’t see eye to eye. This is especially true when it comes to children and issues relating to parenting time and child support.
This is not to say that you can’t find peace in divorce and throughout yours however know that it is okay if your divorce doesn’t have a fairy tale ending. Your marriage wasn’t a fairy tale so why it is assumed that the divorce should be one is a mystery. Whenever you have third parties involved your divorce becomes trickier. This third party can be an attorney, a new love interest, children or family. When you start involving more people, more opinions come into play and with this come more aggravations. You will never be able to please everyone and in your divorce the only person you need to be concerned with pleasing is yourself while providing a best interest for your child.
When it comes to filing for divorce or being served with divorce papers one thing is true; you will never be as prepared as you will want to be. Once the situation has begun it is important to prepare yourself. Get together a list of important names and numbers that you may need in the future. You will want to also start putting together a list that includes handyman service providers, mechanics, tax preparers as well as any service you were not familiar with in your as wife and mother.
Consider finding something new outside of your divorce to learn and throw yourself into. You will find that you have spare time on your hand. The last thing that is healthy for you or for your family is to sit around and think too much. Be proactive, find something new to do. It can be something as simple as learning how to do small repairs on your car or home. Try anything to occupy your mind and gain knowledge that you didn’t previously have. Start learning about budgeting and retirement as this something you will have to reevaluate now that you may be doing this on your own.
Did your heart skip a beat when you thought about that last statement? Only let that happen this once. Strap on your big girl shoes and get on living your new life and letting go of your old life as you proceed through your divorce.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information athttp://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.