Getting over a divorce is a long road for both men and women. When it comes to women going through a divorce they are more apt, no matter how horrible the marriage was, to try to put life back together the way it was. Women tend to fear change, the unknown and being alone. If you are a women resisting the truth of your divorce read on as the information contained in this article will help you come to a place of peace with what is happening and allow you to begin again.
It is easy to over think a lot of things as women. It is also easy to want to fix anything and everything within reach. In your mind a divorce is fixable and this is where you are incorrect. Once a divorce has been decided upon it is over. Don’t blame yourself and don’t put the entire fault on yourself. There is nothing wrong with you and your divorce is not your fault. No one is the perfect wife or mother and even if you were there is nothing that guarantees the end result would not be the same as where you are now. All of these thoughts are in your head. You think having these thoughts will help you cope however this is not the case.
What needs to happen to move you past this point is to accept that it is not feasible for you to control every event that occurs within your life? Once this happens, once you realize that you cannot accept the blame for the demise of your marriage you will realize too that it is not up to you or even possible for you to repair what is broken. The factors of your martial break up are out of your control. You cannot control how your ex-husband thinks and feels you cannot repair him. It is significant that you come to realize this sooner than later so that you are able to move on and stop trying to fix something that is impossible to repair.
Once you get here the next step is learning who you are, finding your own way and teaching yourself how to make decisions on your own once again. For years you have been compromising and taking into consideration someone else’s needs and desires. This will no longer be the case. You will need to learn how to think for yourself and only your interests. As exciting as this sounds and no matter how ready you are to embrace this it is a whole lot tougher than one would think.
Regaining an opinion is something that you will want to take time to learn how to do again. The best way to establish some boundaries to begin to think again for yourself is to start simple. Purchase a journal and take time to explore the things in your life that you clearly don’t want. Sometimes it is simpler to start with the things we are sure don’t represent the life we are interested in leading. Once you have a substantial list of the things you don’t want in your knew life comes the hard part. For everything you don’t want make a specific page for the exact opposite of that; this will represent all the things in life you do want. Now you can continue to fill each page with things that fall under what makes you happy and what you want.
The last thing is to throw away the image you have of yourself as someone’s wife. Create a new image of who you are. Look in the mirror, throw some rocks in the water, and discover exactly who you are all over again. Many women marry young and lose their identity along the way.
The “I” becomes “we” and “you” become “us”. Once you see yourself as a unique individual once again you will be shocked at all the things you had compromised along the way. Maybe you took of fishing to spend time with your mate but in reality that is the last thing in the entire world you would ever do on your own. Gather a new foundation based solely on your wants, needs and desires for your future. In the end you can truly end up a better person than you ever were before when your needs are finally being met especially when you are the one allowing that to happen.