Tag: Filing for Divorce in Michigan

Trusting Your Instincts In Divorce

When women begin to consider divorce or start the process of filing for divorce they begin to receive lots of unwanted advice. The same thing happens to women throughout life I suppose. Consider when you first announced you were getting married, having a baby, quitting your job to stay home with your children; you name it when it involves your family and personal decisions you need to make everyone has an opinion. That is just one of the funny parts of life.

The best advice is advice not given. When it comes to your divorce, just like your marriage, it will be unique to you and so will your experiences as you proceed. There are some tips that may or may not apply to your situation. It is best to decide for yourself your next move. Do research on your own about divorce. This will help lead you into a position that allows you to think for yourself without being swayed by the tips or opinions of bitter divorcees.

When divorce is initially considered or thought of it is a good idea to meet with an attorney that specializes in women’s divorces. Find an attorney that comes with a solid reputation for defending women’s rights in divorce as well as child custody and support. Most often the initial consultation with the attorney is free even if this is not the case one hour of time with an attorney will allow you to get a good feel for their practice as well as their reputation. You will want to be comfortable with this person as you will be sharing incredibly intimate details of your marriage with them.

During this first initial meeting with a divorce attorney you should get a basic understanding on the divorce laws of your state. Each state is different when it comes to divorce laws. It is crucial to understand the laws of your state and how they apply to your situation. During this meeting you will also want to get information about attorney fees, mediation and different parenting agreements that are applicable to your situation.

Some divorces are fairly amicable and can be settled through mediation. Your divorce attorney should accompany you to any meetings set by the mediator. This is important to help protect you and your rights. Even when divorce is amicable doesn’t mean that your ex-husbands attorney will play fairly. Never sign or agree to anything involving your divorce without the advice of your divorce council present.

Before you leave the residence you share with your spouse check with your attorney. This is a decision that should not be made in haste. There are real implications when it comes to leaving the marital home during a divorce. If you find you are concerned for your safety or the safety of your children you should seek out a personal protection order, otherwise known as a PPO, or restraining order while things are settled with your divorce.

In the next installment on divorce we will look into more tips and strategies for you to investigate as you move through the divorce process. Remember one size does not fit all when you are considering a divorce and your divorce proceedings are meant to fit you.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information athttp://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com

Handling Your Divorce In Your Own Way

In our first installment regarding tips for your divorce we talked about the importance of looking out for yourself and not taking advice from other divorcees as it may not fit your divorce. We discussed looking as your divorce as its own separate entity as it is unique to you, your marriage and your situation.

A lot of times you will hear people that claim their divorce was completely amicable and they were able to settle without issue through mediation. While this sounds like a wonderful fantasy of what divorce can be it is the most likely a just that, a fantasy. No matter how cooperative you and your spouse are with each other there are bound to be phases throughout the divorce that you don’t see eye to eye. This is especially true when it comes to children and issues relating to parenting time and child support.

This is not to say that you can’t find peace in divorce and throughout yours however know that it is okay if your divorce doesn’t have a fairy tale ending. Your marriage wasn’t a fairy tale so why it is assumed that the divorce should be one is a mystery. Whenever you have third parties involved your divorce becomes trickier. This third party can be an attorney, a new love interest, children or family. When you start involving more people, more opinions come into play and with this come more aggravations. You will never be able to please everyone and in your divorce the only person you need to be concerned with pleasing is yourself while providing a best interest for your child.

When it comes to filing for divorce or being served with divorce papers one thing is true; you will never be as prepared as you will want to be. Once the situation has begun it is important to prepare yourself. Get together a list of important names and numbers that you may need in the future. You will want to also start putting together a list that includes handyman service providers, mechanics, tax preparers as well as any service you were not familiar with in your as wife and mother.

Consider finding something new outside of your divorce to learn and throw yourself into. You will find that you have spare time on your hand. The last thing that is healthy for you or for your family is to sit around and think too much. Be proactive, find something new to do. It can be something as simple as learning how to do small repairs on your car or home. Try anything to occupy your mind and gain knowledge that you didn’t previously have. Start learning about budgeting and retirement as this something you will have to reevaluate now that you may be doing this on your own.

Did your heart skip a beat when you thought about that last statement? Only let that happen this once. Strap on your big girl shoes and get on living your new life and letting go of your old life as you proceed through your divorce.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information athttp://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Enjoying Your Life Once Your Divorce Is Final

When your marriage ends one life ends and a new one begins.  The problem is that not everyone is ready for this to happen.  Sometimes one partner in the marriage was not willing to accept that the marriage was ending and therefore the process of moving on and letting go of the past is more difficult than it should be. Below you will find some tips on letting go, moving on, jump starting your future and finding peace.

First things first; come clean with all of your emotions and realize that your life will continue after the end of your marriage.  The feelings that you will have guarantee to run the gamut of emotions as well as to change frequently.  You naturally will feel blame, pity, anger, worthlessness and insecure.  On another spectrum you may feel free, liberated, useful and unrestricted.  How you feel is uniquely personal. Feel what you feel.  It is okay to go through each emotion feeling it completely.  It is also perfectly normal to let it go.  Eventually you will come to the point where your marriage and divorce no longer defines you and you will understand that your marriage will be like a cruise; something you did once before a long time ago.

Some people I meet with you are on the verge of filing for divorce are hanging on out of fear of being alone.  Before there were two you were one and believe it or not you survived.  Just as you have done in the past you will survive on your own.  Being in a broken marriage is far lonelier than actually being on your own and creating a new life for yourself.  It is reasonable to grieve for your loss or the marriage that you assumed you would be in however as with grieving in death there will come a time when you can start to move forward.

The next step may seem impossible at first but is as necessary as any.  Make time to allow yourself to feel good.  Stop burning daylight and get on course to living your new life; a life that you create where you can do or be anything you put your mind to. This will hit you like a ton of bricks.  You won’t notice it happening but one day it will have happened and it will hit you.  All of a sudden you will be living a meaningful, productive life.  You will find yourself taking time in the morning making yourself feel good, you will wear clothing to feel good and that makes you feel attractive.  Be it trying a new sport, wearing a new style of clothes or finally cutting your hair is a style you never contemplated before you will find yourself living life for yourself and no one else. You will have found time to be you and you will feel good about it.

In our next installment on life after divorce we will focus on accepting the next step and jump starting your future now that you have accepted your marriage is over and you are on to living for yourself.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com/divorce.php.

Making Time For Your Future When Your Divorce Is Final

In our last installment on marriage and divorce we talked a lot about learning to accept that your marriage has ended and that a new life awaits you.  We discussed taking steps that create a life worth living and one that is focused on making yourself happy.  Finally feeling worthy of feeling good is something that may take some time but when it finally happens and it hits you the sensation is one that you will want to experience more frequently and bring to your everyday life experiences.

When you feel fulfilled in yourself what happens naturally is that people begin to be drawn to you.  You may find yourself surrounded with more friends than ever before and dating prospects will start to flow through at a constant pace.  This may be strange and overwhelming at first although it is important to know that this too is a piece of the puzzle; this part is your future.

Your future still contains pieces of your past. It is possible and vital that you encompass both parts of your life past, present and future into one.  This starts will developing a relationship with your ex especially when children are involved.  The relationship that you have in the future will be and should be so utterly different from your past relationship.  Create a working partnership focused solely on the kids. Your new relationships with other have no basis on your relationship with each other or your children.  It is possible to separate the two and at the beginning is necessary.

Your kids are so important.  I will never say the most important thing in your life because it is always important that self-preservation take a front seat in creating a life you are excited to live.  Most marriages focus too much energy on the happiness of their children therefore leading to demise.  This is why I believe that your children and their feeling are important however separate for the time being from your self-preservation.  When you are with your kids be with them fully.  Spend time with them, do homework with them, don’t allow for outside interruption.  This is most important or the first year following your divorce.  I am not saying they shouldn’t see you happy or hear about your happiness just don’t involve them in any partnership that may be involved in bringing you this happiness.

Make time for you time, personal time and kid time.  This may be the problem you found in your first marriage is that you didn’t have time enough for each individual facet of your life.  This is a mistake that needs to be avoided as your create a future you are excited about living.  When you are married you often find yourself living a life of compromise.  One of the nice parts about your divorce being over and your future being ahead of you is that you get to choose how to live it.  It is important that you take this time to do just that; go live the life that makes you excited about living again!

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com/divorce.php.