Category: Longton Law - page 3

Tips To Help Find A Divorce Attorney To Represent You

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

There is so much more to choosing a divorce attorney then flipping through the yellow pages.  It doesn’t make sense to choose the same attorney that represented you when leasing your first home to also handle your divorce.  Attorney’s all have specialties and it is important to find one that will understand the ins and outs of representing you in your divorce.  Family law attorneys specialize in all things dealing with divorce.  They will represent you not only in your divorce but child custody and support, alimony issues, personal protection orders and restraining orders.  You need an attorney that specializes in the issue at hand, your divorce.

Not only is it important to hire a divorce attorney that specializes in divorce you need to find one that you can comfortably speak with.  Only hire an attorney that you trust and can confide in.  You will need to share with them a lot of information about your marriage including some very private information about yourself and your life together with your partner.

Another important aspect of finding qualified divorce attorney to take on your case is to find an attorney that can speak to you in plain English.  Don’t hire someone that only knows how to speak legalese and can’t relate details of your divorce to you in a manner that you can understand.   You will want to understand the details and exactly what is occurring in your divorce throughout the entire proceedings.

It is crucial that if you have children that your divorce attorney that helps to remind you that they need to come first in every decision that is made in the divorce.  Find an attorney that will help you pursue reasonable demands when it comes to your child custody agreement.  You may be very angry and hurt but you and your attorney should be on the same page when it comes to determining what is best for your children first before the needs of you and your spouse.

The family law, divorce attorney that you choose should be affordable as well.  There is no need to go into deep debt while you are beginning a new life for yourself and your family unit. Expert divorce attorneys who are also affordable are out there to take on your divorce.

Start your search online locating attorneys specializing in divorce and practice law in your area.  This is a perfect time to check them out without the commitment of an afternoon consultation.  Once you have narrowed down a few attorneys that you think fit into what you are looking for call their offices and schedule a time to meet with them to discuss your case in particular.  This short meeting is where you will accumulate the information needed to determine which attorney you feel will represent you and your best interest in your divorce.

Choosing an attorney to represent you in your divorce will not be simple but taking time to find someone qualified, that has your best interests in mind, will pay off for you in the end.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Longton Law

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Finding A Divorce Attorney To Represent You

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

 

Where do you turn when you are faced with divorce?  Most people don’t really know the legal ins and outs.  Navigating the difficult process of divorce requires that you hire an expert divorce attorney, preferably one that is specialized in all aspects of family law.  Finding the right divorce attorney is key in a faster, less expensive divorce.  People that complain of messy, drawn out, expensive divorces most likely did not take the time to seek out the support of the right divorce attorney for their situation.  In this article we will give you tips on finding and choosing the right divorce lawyer.

Six Steps When Choosing The Perfect Divorce Attorney

1)      Be Practical

During a divorce this can be a really lofty goal.  It is important to maintain your emotional balance throughout the divorce and understand that the only purpose in your divorce is to divide your joint assets and solve issues in child custody.  Anger, aggravation, pain, sadness and frustration are only a few of the emotions that will strike you throughout this process but don’t let those take over.  You need to be sensible when it comes to the demands you place on your attorney.

2)      Pay Attention To Your Goal

The ultimate goal is to get a divorce without any depreciation to your lifestyle. The end goal is to finalize your divorce, split assets and walk away fairly unscathed.  When children are involved the end goal may be a bit different but generally remains the same.

3)      Identify What You Want

Identifying what you want is not only about marital assets, custody agreements and alimony; it also has to do with the type of divorce you want.  If you are looking at getting the most out of your spouse your divorce will be different than a divorce in which both spouses are willing to compromise and mediate the details of their divorce without litigation.  Different situations require different types of divorce attorneys.  You will want to make sure your attorney is one that can help you get exactly what you want out of your divorce.

4)      Consult With At Least Three Different Divorce and Family Law Attorneys

When searching for an attorney it is best to go online and look for divorce attorneys that work in your area.  Once you have reviewed their websites set up consultations with the three that best look like they will fit with what you are looking for out of your divorce.  Once you meet with them in person you will get a better feel for which on is perfect for your needs.

5)      Be Wary Of Red Flags

Don’t fall for a divorce attorney that tells you everything you want to hear to close the deal.  Look for red flags that make you uncomfortable and follow your gut feelings.  You won’t always hear what you want and that is actually the type of divorce attorney you need; one that will tell you how it is even when it isn’t what you want to hear.

6)      Choose The Divorce Attorney That Will Represent You

The final step is to choose the attorney that will represent you and your best interest.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Longton Law

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Processing Your Divorce WIth Help From A Divorce Attorney

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

The ending of your marriage is never easy.  Here are a few tips for men, fathers going through the divorce process to help.

Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

It is never easy to go through a traumatic experience and pull yourself out of it but that is the best thing you can do as a man going through a divorce.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get over your own personal pity party and start living your new life.  You are not the only one who is going through a divorce and you will survive.  If you are sure your marriage is over, the papers have been served and signed, it is time to resign yourself to the fact your marriage is over.  It is time to move on.  Grieve for a bit but don’t allow yourself to be sucked into thriving off of pity.  Seek professional services for your divorce.  Counseling is not only something available for women in divorce but is also available for men, fathers going through a divorce as well.

Find A Divorce Attorney

Find legal representation as soon as soon as you realize that you are in fact in the midst of a divorce or separation.  A divorce attorney, especially one that specializes in men going through the divorce process will represent your best interest.  What happens frequently in divorce is that the male figure seeks to claim responsibility for a ruined marriage.  Men are fixers and when they are unable to fix their marriage the next best thing for them is to accept responsibility, so they believe.

Get Your Finances In Order

This is far from the truth and can leave many men in financial ruin.  If a divorce is occurring it is because two people failed to be able to create a life together.  No one person is at fault and therefore no one person should take that entire responsibility on themselves.  Don’t end your marriage and believe you are destined to live in financial ruin.  That is not the case.  This is just one of the many reasons men should seek the advice of a professional divorce attorney as soon as they are certain the marriage is coming to an end.

Be There For Your Children

Never stop being a part of your children’s lives and don’t move out of your family home until you have met with a divorce attorney.  Getting a divorce is hard on all parties involved and should be done with a conscience effort to each decision that is made.  Consider your welfare as well as that of your children. Going through a divorce is a step by step process in which a professional divorce attorney for men will advise you in each step along the way.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Longton Law

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Avoiding Conflict During Your Divorce

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

The entire process of divorce is unpredictable. For many, divorce can feel like death. This is especially true for women who tend to process loss in a completely different manner then men. Women are filled with grief and a feeling of guilt. They feel as if they should have seen this coming and should have been able to fix it before it fell apart. As a divorce attorney one of the first things that we set out to do is to help women accept that their marriage is over and that there is nothing that they could have done to change the outcome.

Women must come to terms that they are simply not meant to be together any longer because they no longer bring happiness to one another. We also help them to understand it is possible to be decent to one another while proceeding through the divorce process. Below you will find some tips to help you, as a women/mother going through a divorce.

It is important to tread lightly and take each step of the divorce process as it comes along. Take time to finalize one relationship before getting involved in another. Your focus should be on transitioning your family unit into two pieces. No matter how cordial you are your ex are the process of divorce is challenging and confusing for all vested parties.

Time should be shared equally while reaching a custody agreement. If you choose not to spend time with your children they will resent you. If you take them away from their father and never allow them time to visit they will resent you. It is important to balance time with your children between the two of you. This will be difficult and may take time to understand but trust that it is beneficial for the unit on whole to keep a united front where your children are concerned.

When it comes to communicating, especially when children are involved, talk face to face, and never place your children in the middle. Talking face to face to one another makes it more difficult to slander one another. It is easy to text negativity to your ex but much more difficult to look someone you once loved in the eye and spew negative comments.

Going through a divorce is never easy. It is important that you seek counsel from a local divorce attorney as soon as you realize reconciliation is not going to occur. A divorce attorney will help guide you through the steps of the divorce process and will lead you to healthy support avenues along the way.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Longton Law

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Tips On Surviving The Holiday During Divorce

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

Going through the divorce process is bad enough, let alone having the process takes place during the holiday season.  Dividing time with your children is never going to be easy.  It becomes especially difficult to be rational when consumed with the emotions of the season.  The one thing both parents need to do is realize that whatever is in your children’s best interest is what is in yours.  With some compromise from both you and your spouse the holiday season can be one that the children experiences stress free.

It is so important that any talks that are associated with the pending divorce and child custody arrangements are kept to a minimum during the holiday season.  Wait until after the holiday passes.  The last thing you wish is for your children to forever associate the holidays with their parents’ divorce.

It may be extra hard not to overdo the gifts this year to compensate for what life is throwing at them.  That however, is one of the worst things you can do as a parent going through a divorce.  Too many gifts won’t make up for the fact that their parents are no longer together and will end up haunting you down the road.

If it is at all possible speak with your spouse about what gifts they are interested in getting the children.  It may be incredibly difficult to work together but it will only benefit your children not only in the short term but in the long run as well.  If one of you is going to buy the dream house, the other should be in charge of accessorizing.  If a play station is going to be purchased then be the one to offer to buy the games.  Working together on little things like this will go a long way in your ability to work together through the bigger issues that will arise.

Work as many of the traditions your children are used to into the holiday.  If for instance, your spouse’s family does a big dinner Christmas Eve let your children go even if it is your night to be with them.  Your children benefit from this not your spouse.  Hopefully they will do the same the next time your family has something going on and it is not on your scheduled parenting time.

Work new traditions into this holiday season.  It will be different from what the children are used to.  Wok to celebrate new opportunities.  If your spouse hated the mess of a fresh cut tree, now is your turn to take the kids and chop down a fresh cut Christmas tree.  That can be a new tradition that you start and carry on with your children.

The bottom line is that no matter what time of year you are going through a divorce it is going to be difficult for your children.  The difference around the holiday is that this is the time of year they were used to spending the most time together as a family.  Balance and a positive attitude will help you not only survive the holiday but truly enjoy the season with your children.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

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Surviving The Holidays During A Divorce

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

Being newly divorced or separated around the holidays is difficult.  How do you go on putting a smile on your face and cheer in your voice when you are still healing on the inside?  Without any visible signs your inner wounds often go unnoticed and end up buried by the chaos everyone else is experiencing with the normal ins and outs of the season. Not only is this time of year difficult for you but also your children who will be experiencing a completely new experience too.  No matter how hard you and your ex work to create a normal holiday your children will still be keen to that missing person on Christmas morning.

Below you will find some survival tips to help you and your family make it through the holiday with a smile and your sanity.

When you are feeling negative emotions from your separation or divorce you need to deal with them, feel them fully and find a way to let them go.  This process is different for each and every divorcee I have ever met.  One thing that is the same is that the negative emotions drag individuals into a private abyss that harbors resentment and anger that will eat your spirit alive if not dealt with and thrown out.  There is no reason to hold on to resentment and bitterness.  It will make you sick which in turn will affect your children and their wellbeing.  Getting the help you need will allow you to pack your negative emotions up and send them away for good.    This alone is the best holiday gift you can give to not only yourself but to everyone around you.

The next thing that you can do is to force yourself to get out there are relay positive energy to everyone whose path you cross.  This may be incredibly difficult given the situation you are experiencing but it is important to consider what they too may be going through.  Even if you are not feeling the merriment of the season pay for the coffee of a stranger, mail a thank you note for something that you may not normally send one for or start a tradition with your kids.  Whatever it takes get out there and bring joy into someone else’s life.  Taking the focus off of your hurt and bringing positive thoughts into your day will help you to remember the joy that is a part of the holiday season.

Consider taking time, either on your own or with your children to help someone who is less fortunate then you are.  It doesn’t matter how difficult your situation is, I guarantee you can find someone who is worse off.  Work to supply meals to those that will be without, give your children money to go buy toys, clothes and books for children living in shelter or visit the elderly.  Making someone else’s situation better is bound to bring the spirit to you.

Take some time for yourself to explore the new you.  After a divorce you no longer have to compromise with anyone.  It is time to do things the way you want to. Embrace your own opinion and move forth considering what is healthy and right for you.  When children are involved this may not be as simple as it sounds.  You will need to consider them in all major decisions that affect their lives just as you would have before.

The divorce attorney’s may no longer be in the picture, the fighting may have settled and assets been split but the hurt may still exist even during the holiday season.  The best thing you can do is to fake it till you make it.  This not only encourages you to move on to a healthy new life but also helps to promote balance and positive energy to your children.  The holiday season is something new and exciting after a divorce.  You can create new traditions to replace ones you weren’t so fond of and keep those you want without having to think about your ex’s feeling or their family either.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Longton Law

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Surviving The Holiday As A Newly Divorced Dad

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

As a divorce father, the trickiest times of year fall around children’s birthdays and throughout the holiday season.  This is especially true for newly divorced dads.  With each year that passes new traditions start to take hold and the season pass without thinking too much about the way things used to be.  Unfortunately it takes time to get comfortable with the way the family is now structured as well as creating new rituals, traditions and special moments together.

When it comes to raising children after divorce there are some couples who can happily agree on everything to do with their children.  They jointly are involved in everything and are comfortable with the new life each has developed.  However, there are some couples that no matter what have a hard time agreeing on a joint way to handle anything involving their children.

Sharing custody can happen in a way that you are both a part of everything and that the only basic difference is which house the kids are sleeping at that night.  It can also be drastically different, one in which the only time you have with your children is the time you are scheduled with them.  You can only attend sporting events when the kids are on your time, you can only attend school functions that fall during your allotted custody time.  The arrangement you have throughout the year will really dictate the natural progression of the holiday season.

If you and your spouse can’t stand one another it is unfathomable that Santa will make just one visit to an agreed upon destination.  If this is the case and you find yourselves unable to put aside your differences you will have to create a new tradition with your children.  Maybe on the Christmas you don’t have the children Santa brings a destination vacation instead of presents.  Then during your allotted time you can go away with them and spend time making memories that have nothing to do with the normal holiday traditions.  On the years in which they celebrate Christmas with you consider going all out on traditional happenings found throughout the season.  The key is to be flexible.  Enjoy the time that you have with them instead of allowing the focus to be on the time without them.

No matter what your level of communication is with your ex it is always advisable to have a plan.  Choose to be proactive in planning for holidays, birthdays etc… and be willing to be the flexible parent.  This goes a long way with making the time your children have with you less stressful.  You may find that you are the one always biting the bullet especially when special occasions come up.  This is hard to take in at first but your ability to flow through these situations will stay with your children forever.  They will see you as the one sacrificing and the one easing their distress.  Choose to be kind and generous.  It is something that your kids will appreciate.

This being said you don’t have to be a push over.  Of course, if there is an issue it is best to meet with your divorce attorney and ask for guidance.  Maybe it is time to meet with friend of the court to work out a more suitable agreement, something that better addresses special occasions within the children’s lives.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

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Easing Holiday Stress For Newly Divorced Moms

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

The holiday season is one that brings enough stress with it all on its own without worrying about how you will handle certain events with your divorce being finalized.  Approaching the holidays after divorce, especially when you have children, doesn’t have to be filled with anxiety.  With a bit of preparation and the right mind set the first holiday season without your ex can be the best you have had in a long time.

Some things newly divorced moms worry about is family gatherings, parties of mutual friends and of course Santa’s visit.  The one thing to remember is that this is a year of changing traditions.  The things you were traditional for you and your family at holidays pasts will be memories to share and enjoy but this year will be about new traditions.  Creating a joyful, stress free holiday is the best present two parents can give to their children whether they are married or divorced.

Some couples get along better after their divorce is final.  If this is how you are with your ex that it may be just fine to continue to celebrate Christmas morning together so that you are both able to witness the joy of the season that is shared with small children.  Santa coming is a big part of a young child’s Christmas and therefore may be one time where you will choose to come together.

If this is not the case and you and your ex are unable to be amicable then spare yourself the stress of the above scenario.  Santa can and will visit two separate homes when situations arise that he needs to.  If this is the first Christmas in which you will be celebrating separately consider going on vacation or to stay with friends.  Gifts from Santa found under a different tree then the one shared with your ex may be just the ticket to make it through this very first Christmas.

To avoid issues when it comes to the two of you making holiday plans including the children make a solid action plan a few weeks in advance.  If this is not something that will be easy for the two of you on your own consider meeting with your divorce attorney’s and having a plan drawn up that is recognized by friend of the court.  This may be the only solid way that last minute deviations to the plan are avoid and the holiday remains uncomplicated.  Never leave things up to the children or adhere to a plan with a wait and see what happens approach.  Nothing good comes of this for your children.  They will be riddle with anxiety and you will be devastated if your plans are derailed last minute because of plans your ex miscommunicated with you.

Although your kids shouldn’t be left to plan the holiday season their school schedule and personal desires should be kept in mind while creating the grand plan.  If your children have always loved cutting a tree down do this with them.  This is something that they will enjoy doing more than once within the holiday season.  Who is to say that because it was something you did with your ex it isn’t something you can continue to do without them.

Above all remember that the holiday season is all about enjoying quality time with loved ones.  This is possible to do, after your divorce!  Take a moment to create the holiday season you have always wanted.  This year there is no limit or compromise.  Plan parties, bake cookies and decorate to the fullest extent.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

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Emotions Throughout The Divorce Process

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

There are so many emotions that are experienced throughout the divorce process.  It is hard to go through the process without feeling a little bit of everything.  The hope is that it won’t all hit at one time and that having a better understanding of what you will be experiencing it won’t be as difficult of a process to navigate.

One of the first emotions when going through a divorce is intense anger.  It may be that you are trying to convey a mixture of pain, anxiety or irritation that comes out as anger.  This feeling of intense wrath is a mechanism we use to shield ourselves.  We try to protect ourselves from the vulnerability we are feeling and this is often done using anger.  Projecting anger leave us in a state that doesn’t allow us to be discarded once again.

Another emotion that participants in a divorce succumb to is shock.  You may be caught completely off guard when you are served with divorce papers.  People have been known to be caught off guard; unaware that the troubles in their marriage have led to a request for a divorce.  That feeling, the one in which it feels as if someone punched you as hard as they could right in the gut.  Your life is going to change, it will be scary and it starts right now.

Another emotion that is often felt is the feeling of rejection and despair.  Despair comes from being rejected.  The feeling of someone not accepting you brings back feelings in your life of when you have previously been disregarded.  Often times when your marriage fails people feel as if they too have failed.  You are not damaged goods just because your marriage did not work.  Your dreams have not failed; all that has happened is that you need to trade in the old dreams for new ones.

The fear of being alone is something that comes along with divorce.  This is especially true if you have been in a relationship for an extended period of time.  If you are unfamiliar with spending time by yourself the feeling can be quiet scary and cause you to have an overwhelming level of fear.  Trust yourself, it is possible to survive on your own without the help of your partner.

When any change occurs and a new phase of life is about to get underway it can be pretty scary.  It is alright to be scared.  Being scared is natural.  It would be unrealistic to believe that this phase would pass without it.

You will feel quiet bitter towards your partner and others that may be helping them through the process. Seeing your perfect family being ripped apart, thrown into turmoil because your spouse filed for divorce will cause you to be overcome with bitterness.  When your partner files you will blame them; you will blame them for an outcome that you feel you don’t deserve.

Allow yourself to go through the myriad of emotions you are sure to feel.  There is no right way to process your divorce.  A good divorce attorney will offer you referrals for assistance in handling your emotions throughout the entire divorce process.  Your divorce attorney will guide you; they are familiar with a process you are not so trust them and their instincts.  Hold on tight for the rollercoaster ride you are about to embark upon!

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

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When Is Divorce The Only Option Left

Posted on by Creative Programs and Systems

Divorce is not an easy way out of a marriage that is unsatisfying.  Many people consider divorce as a last resort and try incredibly hard to make their way through the difficult times in their marriages.  Vows are taken seriously and people fight to make relationships work. That is why when a divorce occurs it is not taken lightly as it is not an easy wait out of something that you worked so hard to revive.  In fact the divorce process is anything but simple but sometimes it is the only way out of a difficult situation that cannot be fixed.

If you have considered every other option and have found that a divorce is inevitable consider the following article.  It will help you better understand a variety of scenarios in which a divorce is for sure a better option for both you and your spouse.

  • A divorce is probable when you have really taken every other step to make your relationship work.  There are times when your marriage will have a bunch of rough patches but with a little work and understanding they can be repaired.  If you have been to marriage counseling and have put in an honest effort into fixing the issues in your relationship than divorce may be all that is left.  Divorce might be the only option left to ensure that you and your spouse don’t spend the rest of your lives making one another miserable.
  • When two people have grown apart and have completely changed there may be no way to create what you had to begin with.  If the person you married long ago is not the person you are married to now a divorce is often in your cards. When your goals, interests and future dreams no longer align it may be time to look into divorce as your next step.  When the gap between who you were and who you are now cannot be gapped it is time to call it quits.
  • If you can’t stand one another and are avoiding all contact with each other it is time to consider options in ending your marriage.   If you can’t talk with each other without it turning into an argument you can be assured you have problems in your marriage that cannot be fixed.  Your situation would be better off ending in divorce.
  • When you start to see your marriage or lack thereof affecting your children it is time to consider separating.  Believe it or not even with the difficulties that divorce causes children staying in an unhappy relationship that is visual to your children is worse.  Your children will be happier when they see that the two people that love them most in the world are happy as well.

When you have hit the wall and divorce is the option that your marriage is heading in contact a divorce attorney.  Talking with an attorney that specializes in divorce and family law will allow you to get an upper hand with your life after divorce.

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.

Longton Law

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